Tag Archives: Men and Women

Parity Between Partners – Equality in M/M

So there’s been a lot of nonsense doing the rounds about women in m/m. Aren’t we bored of this yet? I’m not addressing the issue again, suffice it to say the day I stop being allowed to write about men is the day men stop being allowed to write about women, or aliens, or animals, or, y’know, anything except other men.

What I do want to talk about is an equally tired old argument I see bandied around time and again, that women like to write two men together because the relationship between two men is more equal than it is between a man and a woman.

evil Parity Between Partners - Equality in M/M

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Feminising the Male

Someone (who shall remain nameless…) started me on Supernatural. Yes I know I’m about eight seasons too late but in the last couple of weeks I have rectified that and am halfway though season six already. It has become something of an obsession and I am just about in love with Cas…but I digress.

The purpose of this post is not a foray into fandom, nor a litany of reasons why I too want a gruff little angel to call my own. Nope, I’m talking about the increasing trend of feminising male heroes.

jensen-ackles-300x221 Feminising the Male

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Gay Men and Women

I was out in Manchester on Saturday, for the first time since Pride. God, I love the Village. It reminds me of my godforsaken youth, of three magic years when I lived there and going out was essentially my life. I’m a scene queen, I admit it. And despite so, so much of it that has changed – since I lived there, since I was last there – so much of it is the same. I met old friends and new, I went to some of my favourite haunts from the bad ole days and I went to bars and clubs that have been rebranded, reopened a dozen times or more since I called that place home.

But some things never change. The attitude of some of the men there to women, for a start.

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Chicks With Dicks: Covert Desires

I thought I’d throw my two penneth into this debate (because it hasn’t been discussed enough!!). For too long there has been an undercurrent of certain readers rejecting (queer) male characters that they refer to as chicks with dicks.

Firstly, I think that’s a horrible expression. Somehow it manages to be homophobic, transphobic and misogynistic all at once. I’m sure whoever coined it thought they were being sooooooooo witty. But what does it actually mean?

See, I happen to think that actually when people use that expression – or think about its usage – more often than not they’re confusing two entirely different things: (queer) male effeminacy; and bad writing.

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When Sex Gets Boring

Yes, really. In certain circles, there seems to be a general malaise with the standard tropes of m/m sex. Anyone who’s dabbled even slightly in the genre will know exactly what I’m talking about – a trope best described as 1-2-3-lube. If you don’t know, don’t ask!

Sometimes, it seems like every book contains the same damn scene. And while it might have been hot as hell the first time I read it, after the hundredth it’s just…boring.

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Naming (and Shaming) Sexual Identities

We’ve all heard the term LGBT, right? Gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans*. Do you know how many groups consider that acronym redundant? The NYT ran an article recently on what it dubbed “Generation LGBTQIA”. Here’s just a sample of some of the labels you can apply to your sexual identity: gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, queer, homosexual, asexual, pansexual, omnisexual, trisexual, agender, bigender, third gender, gender queer, intersex, two-spirit, polyamorous… The list goes on.

Do we really need all these different definitions? Is it really necessary to split our community into smaller and smaller chunks of identity? At what point does an identity become so individual that it ceases to have any relevance to a wider group – and are we damaging our own equality movement by getting bogged down in a plethora of unnecessary labels?

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Putting the T in LGBT

We’ve all heard the expression LGBT Community. Yet too often that very thing – community – is most lacking. There are lines drawn in the sand all over the place: between gay men and women; between gays and bis; between trans* and everyone else; and between all the different shades of grey that make up each stripe of our little rainbow. Humans are essentially contrary creatures and too often it’s the case that the more marginalised we are ourselves, the quicker we’ll kick discrimination down the line to someone else.

Why that should be, no-one knows. Personally, it riles me no end that we can’t all get along as human beings without having to distinguish between creed, colour, race, religion, gendered or sexual identity. Someone once said that the day we actually discover alien life will be a watershed, not because we’ve proved that we are not alone in the universe, but because for the first time we’ll all be united as a single species. Chances are that even then we’ll find something to disagree with our neighbours about.

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Modern Misandry

It’s the done thing these days to bash men. Historically men – white, heterosexual, Western men in specific – have always been the elite, they’ve trampled over every other demographic in the world and reigned supreme for hundreds of years. They’ve invaded every nation under the sun, they’ve formed exclusive clubs, they’ve bullied and discriminated and generally made sure that everyone who wasn’t like them was thoroughly downtrodden.
sensitive Modern Misandry

Well no more, those men are finally getting what was coming to them.

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Casual Homophobia

There’s been enough talk in the media this month about people wanting to round us gays up, put us in camps, beat us straight, take our rights away and otherwise treat us worse than animals. That’s not what this post is about. Instead, I want to think about the casual, everyday homophobia that is so ingrained in our culture that the people who espouse it don’t even realise that they are actually being homophobic to begin with. Most of those people, if you called them homophobes, would be very distressed and upset and argue vehemently that they are pro-gay, and support equal rights.

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